Ok, so possibly ready to get help, now what?

these past 2 years have been hell. up and down, euphoria, anger, panic attacks, desperation, despair, cutting, and recently i stopped eating and purge like every other day.. and then one day i read about bpd and it describes me completely. i felt alright for a couple days but yesterday had an angry outburst i couldn't stop for about 2 hours then i felt guilty and sad. sometimes im extremely withdrawn others crazy to have fun fool around... but i dont have many friends anymore 2 or 3 at most. so i spend most of my time cycling or running when im not too down and have energy to do stuff. everything has been getting worse as time goes by. i think about ending it so much. but i'm scared to find someone because when i feel good i dont need anyone or think i dont. I heard it's so hard to find someone good to treat bpd and that it can take a lot of time to get to the right diagnosis and treat it correctly. I don't want to end up making my life even worse. How do i go about finding someone?