May do something ill regret but i dont know...?

long story but ill sum it up. i was friends with a girl for about 8 years. haven't talked to her since then up until until about 2 years ago. im 22, shes 21. now i made the rather bad decision of telling her that i always had feelings for her in a email shortly after i began talking to her again. so i learn after that she showed her bf and a guy friend of hers. i didnt know she had next to zero respect for me like that. but like a fool i ignored it, also ignored the fact that she was pretty distant after that point. i know i had no buisness sending her that, i guess i wasnt thinking straight. well anyway during all this until last christmas , she would yell at me over the phone and just be generally short with me, she broke up with her bf of 5 years like twice so i guess that counted for something. she also had a friend of hers call me and say to leave her alone, when i thought things werent THAT bad. so anyway a little bit before christmas i text her and ask her why she was being such a *****...so she says i am who i am, and then proceeded to block my number. im probably missing some things but thats the gist of what happened the whole time. now the only thing i feel for her is a profound about of hatred...mainly due to the fact that she most likely showed other people the email i sent her in the first place, she said she showed only those 2..but she may be lying.. i fear i may do something i regret....but i dont know, my thoughts are tered....what do i do?....i thought i was done with all this high school drama bs.....